Celebratory Photo Essay, Rehashed

Five years ago today, Nate and I were joined in Holy Matrimony.

Here is what I looked like on the outside.

And here is what was happening on the inside.

Due to the circumstances, some of my relatives were none too pleased.

And, if I'm being honest, I'll admit that I was scared as hell. How could I know whether I was making a good decision? That day, I went through the motions, hoping against hope that my family was wrong.

And they were. I couldn't have believed, then, how fantastically happy my life is now.
Thank you for that. I love you.

I'm re-publishing this post from 05. I wish I could post it over at the main blog, because, to me, it is hilarious and sweet. But I don't want to offend my family... That's my brother in-law frowning in one of the pictures. And while I think posting the picture of him on the blog my family reads would be in poor taste, I still believe he disapproves of my marriage and of me in general. But whatever. After 5 years, it's hard to give a shit.

Also, let's pretend that last picture has our whole family in it... I'm too lazy to find a current one right now.


Little Bit o' Crazy

Hey, dudes. Don't know if anyone is still checking in over here, but I found this slide show of the Creation Museum. It is amazing, in a very unamazing way. If you know what I mean.

My favorites were the signs about dinosaurs, above, but there were some other choice bits about sin and suffering, including a picture of a woman in labor. (!!!) Love it.

Could not pay me enough to set foot in this building with my children. By myself, you could maybe pay me $100,000. But with my kids, no, never.

That is all.
Now must blog at MaiasauraMade.


The Onion

The Onion comes through with the best Pitchfork Media spoof ever.

Pitchfork Gives Music 6.8


Didn't Quite Pass the Grandma Test

If you've heard R. Kelly's song Same Girl, you'll enjoy this variation on the theme.

So funny.


Well, I'm back. Sooner than I expected, actually.

The day after my last post, things improved greatly. Something amazing and strange happened on Friday. We didn't leave the house, yet we spend most of the day apart. I didn't plan it that way, it just sort of happened. First, Simon was listening to a cd of Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories (do you all know how much we love the audio books in this house? love them!) and I went upstairs with Theo to pick up some messes.
An hour or so later, Simon came upstairs, naked and with some poop on his butt. I told him to get into the bathtub, just as a way to contain the mess, and he asked to take a bubble bath. So he spent the next hour playing in the tub while Theo and I had lunch downstairs. I was nervous about the poop situation I would discover, but it was nothing... glorified skid marks. Phew with a capital P-H.
I think our time apart helped us, but, honestly, I woke up on Friday feeling so much better. Maybe simply writing about it helped. I knew there was a reason I kept this blog around.

We had a great weekend. Some time with friends, some time with family, lots of time relaxing at home.

Because he's a sweetie who thinks of me even when I'm in my own world, Nate borrowed some Harry Potter movies from his sister. I've been listening to the audio books as I craft and do housework, so it was fun to see the film versions. Our verdicts were the same as all that we read online: Chamber of Secrets (#2) was terrible. Everything was over explained and boring. Prisoner of Azkaban (#3), on the other hand, was fantastic. Much more cinematic, attractive, and well-crafted.

I think tonight we'll watch the fourth, The Goblet of Fire. Normally we can't do movies on a week night, but Simon is gone today, spending the night with my mom. That gives us an excuse to watch tv and lounge all night. Theo will be here, of course, but it's easy to forget about setting examples when the little one can't talk. He's a silent witness, the safest kind.

Here's another example of that: in the past, when Simon has been gone, I have gone on huge eating binges. I have bought ice cream, cookies, chips, fries, frosties, etc. and eaten whole packages at once. With Simon gone, there was nobody to see me, no one to set a bad example for or to share with. Well, Theo could see me, but he couldn't say anything later. He couldn't tell Nate to check out the garbage can to see all the treats he missed out on.

Four weeks ago I decided to start going to Weight Watchers meetings, instead of just doing the program online. And I have been a very good girl. No more secret binging, with or without Simon around. I should've done it long ago.

Theo's asleep and Simon's gone, so what am I doing sitting here? I've got stuff to do! Bye bye!


Off of Cornel West's new album, feat. Talib Kweli.


It's been a hard week, or two weeks, or three weeks, I can't remember. Simon and I have been butting heads. I'm almost being literal. We are really having a rough go of it. He has presented a challenge, and I'll admit right here that I haven't risen to the call. I am floundering. It's like there are two children interacting, rather than an adult and a 4 year old.

In times past, when I've felt more in control of myself, when my parenting has been more measured and intentional, I have woken each morning with a fresh supply of patience and love. Lately I wake up with a low supply and by day's end I'm on empty.

When we struggle like this, I can't help but wonder how royally am I fucking up, exactly how badly am I screwing up this kid? From that ugly thought it's a slippery slope to feeling crappy about other areas in my life. Before long my head is filled with the loud noise of self-loathing. I convince myself that I'm a terribly mother, wife, friend, and housekeeper. And then I ponder my failure all day long. I only take a break to wonder what it will take to get out of this dark place. But I come up with nothing. Then I slip into it again.

I'd like to be a cartoon, drawn with a thought bubble full of all my self-doubt and fear of failure. The next frame would show me tipping my head to the side, banging on my ear, and letting all my nasty thoughts just fall to the ground. Next frame = smiling me.

But maybe I make things too hard. Maybe it's just that simple in real life, too. Hold on, let me try that.

Okay, no. Didn't work. And now my ear hurts too.

Wanted to check in, but won't be back until the fog clears and the funk passes. You can still find my superficial/happy/crafty self at the other blog, though.