10.26.2005

The Strongest Bladder the World Has Ever Seen

So, the last few weeks, we have started to get serious about potty training the boy. I asked Nate to do a little research on methods we might employ. He did a google search, and the page that popped up first was the one we decided to go with. I thought it looked easy enough, and I liked that the instructions were simple but very clear.

We are in week 3, wherein we leave Simon's pants and diaper off for a period of time every day. I have stretched it each day. First 45 minutes, then 1.5 hours, and today over 2 hours. The idea is that you will tell him to go in the potty if he has to go, then leave him to play. Accidents are expected, and can be helpful incentive for him to go to the potty next time, as most people do not enjoy the feeling of their own urine running down their legs.

After only 3 days, I'm starting to grow doubtful of this method. We haven't had any successes, and we haven't had any accidents. I was all ready to be sopping up piss with a towel..... but, no. Nothing.

Simon, I think, must have an astoundingly strong bladder. I know he had to pee for at least an hour this morning. How do I know, you ask? Well, he downed two sippy cups full of soymilk. Later, he started frantically begging me to put a diaper on him. I encouraged him to sit on the potty instead. (He cooperated with this suggestion, but retained an iron-grip on his bladder.) Another clue that he he needed to pee was.... well, not to get too personal, but there is a physiological clue to mommies of boys. Basically, his little penis sticks out like a miniature balloon animal, looking painfully full and ready to burst. But Simon would not let it go.

So... I don't know about this method. I don't think he's ever going to go as long as he is pantless. Maybe we'll move to undies. If he could feel something next to the skin of his nether regions, he could relax enough to go. But he could feel the yucky wetness too. I swear, this potty training business seems so cruel sometimes.

Speaking of cruel, here is a potty training pic which someday Simon might hate me for showing to the world. But I include it to demonstrate my efforts to make the process less cruel. See, in the pants-off method we were using, I worried about his little legs being cold. A pair of daddy's tube socks, pulled up mid-thigh, and presto! Instant leg-warmers. Someone could market them for this purpose, I swear.

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