"...transmits high-frequency sound pulses into your body using a probe."

I know it's been a long time since my last post, as many have noted. I'm blaming S.A.D. Also, nothing has really inspired me to post, until today.

Today I met Laura at a little Maternity center in Lincoln Park to witness her first (and possibly only) sonogram of this pregnancy. After a short wait in the waiting room, and the nurse's little check up (waiting room part 2), we went into the room containing that giant computer that is a sonogram machine. The doctor came in, asked if we "want to know", slapped some gel on Laura's tummy, and after only a few seconds of watching the psychedelic black and white moving image on the monitor, Laura let out a gasp, indicating that she knew the sex. I was not sure what I was looking at, since most of the time a sonogram is like watching a black and white Stan Brakhage film*. But when the Dr. zoomed in on a little bulge sticking out between two skinny leggish looking things, I realized that the Hartrich house is soon going to be new and improved, with 50% more testosterone. The point was firmly driven home when Dr. typed out "IT LOOKS LIKE A BOY" on the screen and, with a cute nod in our direction, said, "I'll print that up for you."

As we were walking to the car, it dawned on us. Two. Boys. In one house. I guess it's time to brush up on my wrestling moves. I only had a sister when I was growing up, and in some ways I was the more feminine of the two of us. Now I'm going to have two little boys constantly scheming up the crazy plans that boys make up together**. Thanks to our president and his buddies, who taught us the principle of pre-emptive strikes. Now I know the importance of stopping them in their tracks. I'll have to brush up on that too.

*Don't sleep on Dog Star Man.

**Yes, I realize that girls probably make up crazy schemes too. But I know that boys are always doing it, for their entire lives. And yeah, maybe some boys don't do that too. Quit whining you liberal ninny!


Colin Hughes Taylor said...

"You know what this party needs?"

Oliver said...

I did a search on Wikipedia and found the following:

A recent study conducted by Harvard of scheming in infants and children found that girls are "significantly more adept at scheming, lying and misleading.. and are capable only of employing truth as cement in a fabric of fiction".

The study concludes by saying "the main difference between scheming in boys and girls is simple. Boys often tell lies — deliberate, contrived and dishonest — whereas girls manipulate, they create myths — persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic, and do so with a smile and curtsy".