You Can Get Yourself Clean, You Can Have a Good Meal, You Can Do Whatever You Feel

Some of you have already heard the big news: I AM FAT. It's true. According to my attentive midwife, I am gaining weight at a rate that could possibly lead to the high blood pressure I so desperately want to avoid --- the kind that would ruin my chances for a homebirth.

It's embarrassing to have to answer the question, "Can you tell me about what you have been eating lately?" especially when you must omit the answer that is blaring through your mind ---ICE CREAM. Sure, I have been eating yogurt and granola, beans and rice, tofu and stir-fry, and all that other stuff I listed for my midwife. But I don't think those were the items that caused the scale to tip another 9 pounds in the direction of oblivion. I'll admit: I was embarrassed and disappointed in myself as I listened to the concerns of my care-provider. But, simultaneously, I was so happy to have a midwife who would communicate her concerns in a timely, compassionate manner. Last time, my OBGYN waited until I was in the hospital, swollen and with blood pressure skyrocketting to mention, "Oh, yeah, I noticed you had a sudden weight gain when you came in A WEEK AGO." Just another reason I'd like to kick her in the face.

Anyway, after my chat with Jewel (my midwife --- she comes equipped with hippie name) I was determined to turn things around.

Saturday I bought myself a bicycle! Susan and Joel, city biking experts, accompanied me to Working Bikes Cooperative, and I got a nice mountain bike for $70. I feel slightly nerdy about my bike because everyone likes to make fun of people who ride mountain bikes in the city. I had my reasons: I exchanged a few emails with a woman who hauls her kids everywhere in a trailer on her bike. She recommended I get a bike that would allow me to sit upright, as this would give me greater view of the traffic situation, and keep me and my encapsulated children safer. So, for the safety of the kids, a dork I shall be.

I am excited about the idea of the bike, and entertain romantic notions of biking to the store, park, school, church, everywhere with the kids in toe. Realistically, though, this might not happen for a long time. First, I have to get comfortable on the bike myself. Not only will I be riding in the city for the first time, but it's been several years since I've been on a bike at all. Big thanks to Susan and Joel for muffling their guffaws as I painstakingly lifted my enormous pregnant leg over the frame and then teetered down the street. They assured me it would come back to me quickly, and I can only hope they are right. My enlarged state probably doesn't help the situation.

Then, once I am confident on the bike, I can try it with the trailer, perhaps with a bag of sand mimicking the weight of my child. If I'm really diligent, this might happen by the time I'm 8 months pregnant. I'm sort of anticipating a point in time when I'll feel too huge to ride anymore, so then I'll stop and wait for the baby. Post-baby, it's hard to know when I'll be willing to start again. Some people say a bambino should be a year old before you put them in the trailer. The lady I mentioned earlier claims she had her baby in there from day one. Maybe I'll find a happy medium. Either way, while I do aspire to be a biking city-mama, I don't know if it can happen in the very near future.

A more immediate solution to my ice cream induced problem comes in the form of the YMCA. We joined yesterday and utilized the facilities for the first time today. As I type this, my arms are sore and my hands smell like chlorine. The pool is a glorious place to be when pregnant. For a short time in your day, you can feel weightless and graceful. I'm hopeful that the pool can be my ally in the battle against complete and total fatness. I don't need to lose weight, I just need to stay where I am for a little while. Can you help me pool? Can you?

In other, but still baby-related, news we have a sonogram scheduled for Thursday. If all goes well, we should find out if Simon will have a little brother, sister, or hermaphrodite. I'm just saying, it's a possibility, that's all. It happened on Freaks and Geeks, you know.

Finally, I used to have a husband who wrote this blog with me. Does anyone know what the hell happened to him?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Laura Laura Laura

Not only did I misplace your number, but I forgot you were preggers! Geesh! Congrats on finding out the gender (I pegged you for one wanting to keep it a *mystery*). And props to wanting to ride a bike while in your ... condition. When I lived in Flagstaff there was this outdoor show where records were being spun in the square, and there was this EXTREMELY pregnant woman twisting and grooving to the funkdified beats. I was amazed and overjoyed, having never seen such a thing. (beautiful and spectacular) So, let that be a form of inspiration or whatever.

Again, sorry we didn't hook up.

Jim Jim Jim