Despite all my complaining, it's not all sciatica and stress around here. It may be hard to tell from my last few posts, but I am actually excited about this baby. I can't wait to see him, to smell him, and to get to know him in every intimate way that motherhood affords. Will he be a skinny little thing like Simon was, or will he have the more classic chubby-baby physique? What will his temperament be? What will his little baby face look like? I look forward to learning the answers to these and infinitely more questions. Now if he would just hurry up and get born already.

As the excitement about Theo's arrival grows, so does a certain solemnity, stemming from the unavoidable fact that my relationship with Simon will be forever changed after his brother's birth. I'm not worried about having enough love for them both... I know my heart will expand to love them both, just as my body has these past 7 months. It's not that I think my relationship with Simon will suffer, just that it will be different, and I can't help but feel a little morose when I think about it.

The realization of this impending change imparts a sense of urgency to relish the time I have left alone with my firstborn. I'm trying to soak up every spare minute I have with him, and trying to give him more of my undivided attention, even if it means letting the laundry or the dishes sit for a bit longer. Saturday was a wonderful day that made it easy to accomplish this temporary goal of mine. We had a few chores to accomplish, but not many, so I got to focus mainly on my boy. And it was like he had detected my intention and wanted to reward me with utter, gushy cuteness. All day long he repeated two heart-melting phrases: "It's a beautiful day!" (whether we were inside or out) and "I love you very much." Adding to the sweetness of the day was the exquisite weather. We were outside several times, blowing bubbles in the park, walking to the store. Later we went to the YMCA for a family swim, which was not as taxing as, say, a trip to the zoo or some other special outing, but was out of the ordinary enough to feel really fun, to me, anyway.

I don't know how to sum up this sappy post. I just love my kid, people. Here are some pictures to help you understand.

1 comment:

Oliver said...

I know the feeling of longing to discover who your child is and will be. It is one of the many wonders of life.

Simon looks like an Emperor-baby in one of those pics; like Stewie from family guy. He's plotting the fall of Europe.