Look for me in the self-help section.

I know I've written before about how much I love a good parenting book. I am unabashed in my reliance on said books, because Lord knows I don't want to parent my kids based on my instincts alone (since my instinct is often to strangle somebody).

Now I am reading a different kind of book, in the hopes of developing a healthy relationship with food. I've been trying to do Weight Watchers since September, and I've lost 25 pounds. That's pretty good. I worked hard, I did it, yea me and all that. The problem is that I gained 50 pounds during my pregnancy, so I still have at least 20 to go if I ever want to unpack those famous boxes in the attic. But I'm stuck. I've been losing and gaining the same 5 pounds for months now. I have a nasty habit of eating really carefully for a few days, a week, or whatever, then going nuts on a carton of ice cream or slamming down a whole pan of brownies. It's incredibly frustrating to realize, week after week, that I have sabotaged myself once again.

I tried to talk Nate into letting me undergo hypnosis to override my binging tendencies. Since he wouldn't go for it, I went to the library to look for some books to help me. I admit I felt slightly embarrassed checking out titles like The Rules of Normal Eating, Why Can't I Stop Eating, and When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies. I just felt like such a typical fat American woman. But maybe, if I can master the ideas in these books, I can stop obsessing about food and just eat in a healthy, moderate way. And maybe I could actually like my body, whatever the scale reads. That would really be turning a new leaf. Healthy, confident, beautiful new leaf.

It's amazing how babies change so fast. I had to laugh when I read my last post... not because Theo isn't a good baby anymore; he is, of course. But he's no longer such an easy baby. Probably two days after I wrote that glowing review, he became a climber. And I mean a serious climber, not just playing around on the first step. Suddenly he can climb all the way up the stairs in the blink of an eye. We've had to start keeping the door to the stairwell closed, and this does not please our little mountain climber. We've heard more whining and fussing about the inaccessible stairs than we've heard in the previous 8 months of his life combined.
He's also trying to pull up on anything taller than him. As a result, he's having his fair share of accidents. He tries to pull up on drawers and they pinch his fingers. He tries to pull up on chairs and pulls them down, pinning himself to the floor. Basically, that happy baby who we used to forget was in the room now requires close supervision. Not a bad thing, just a change. One last thing: I mentioned that he was easy to get to sleep, remember? Now he is so in love with pulling up to standing in his crib that he can't get to sleep. Even after he's deliriously tired, he can't stop pulling up. The boy fiends for that vertical high.
So we're learning to live with a climber. He's still the best baby I know.
Tomorrow we are going to buy a new couch! Here's a picture. Cute, huh? We are very excited. Our current couch is the pits. Sitting on it does not so much resemble sitting as it does some kind of ancient mind-over-pain meditation practice. And sleeping? Forget about it. We'll be grateful to have some soft cushions supporting our rumps again.

1 comment:

Banana Mama said...

Beautiful Laura,
I hope you find something in those books that you feel is wise and helpful. And don't forget that exhaustion plays in a role in your metabolism too. As I understand it, when you are really tired you rely on stress hormones to get you through the day and stress hormones (cortisol at least) makes your body store fat. Check the internet to see if what I'm saying is totally true, but I really think it is. So remember that soon Nate will be able to help with night-waking and you will sleep better. Then bye-bye cortisol. Babies awake at night need their daddies. I'm sure I read that somewhere...