Make Laura Laugh Challenge

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to send me a joke or short story that is both funny and appropriate to take to a church retreat. Granted, this is a pretty progressive church, but I still have to read this aloud to older, church ladies. So let's keep it appropriate, shall we?

Friday evening I leave for a women's retreat with ladies from church. When we moved down here, I sincerely intended to keep attending the retreats of our old church (in Chicago) as a way to stay in touch. And while I think that idea was nice in its way, I'm realizing that I need to make connections here if I'm ever going to get over leaving Chicago. I hope I can make some friends from our new church and also have a relaxing weekend.

The theme for the retreat is "She Who Laughs, Lasts." We're supposed to bring a "joke or very short story" to share with the group. The all-A student in me wants to bring something really great, that will have everybody rolling in the aisles. I have a list of funny school-work mistakes from Harper's, but I'm open to something better. If you have some time to kill, search the ol' ninnernet and find me something funny! Thanks.


Colin said...

a grasshopper walks into a bar.
The bartender says to him "hey, we've got a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper is delighted. "Wow, you've got a drink called Steve?"

Can be used as setup for a deep lesson on identity and assumptions. Old church people love jokes with lessons.

sir henry oglepants said...

a little old blind woman walks into a grocery store with her seeing eye dog. she grabs the dog by the tail picks it up and starts spinning the dog around by the tail over her head in huge circles.
the store clerk, flabbergasted, exclaims "lady, what are you doing???"
the little old blind woman not stopping for a second yells back "I'm taking a look around."

pros to my joke: 1)little old blind woman are funny regardless of what they do. 2)you get to use the word flabbergasted in a sentence, flabbergasted... see, still funny.

Oliver said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Oliver said...

I think a personal anecdote or story is best, something the women can relate to. the joke should include references to Ben & Jerry's ice-cream, mensturation, lazy husbands/boyfriend and their fear of "commitment" (use air quotes for this bit, classic). Try saying "c'mon...sisters" after each punchline to drum up enthusiasm.

If you can tie all that into faith and Jesus, then you're onto a winner.

Angela said...

uuIn all seriousness, I really love the anecdote you posted about Simon outwitting you with his potty-training logic leap: that because a) he thought pee was yucky and b) you explained that everyone pees, be concluded that c) everyone is yucky. That's the stuff of Reader's Digets' "Life in These United States." Sure to kill and make everyone reflect on how the frustrations of motherhood have a humorous sweet nature to them that make it all worthwhile.

Martin K. said...

You could go with the "pulling you leg" bit.

The set up is you start telling a story about "your life," but it's not really your life, but something similar and 100 times more ridiculous. You start slow with an activity everyone can either relate too or knows you do regularly. Then the event takes a wacky turn. Explain the consequences of the complication. Next you hit another logical extension of the madness, nothing too out there, but it adds to the chaos and keeps it real. Then you add in the just-barely-unbelievable coincidence that makes this event epic enough to retell. And, as the story spirals out of control you get to a point where you say something to the effect of, "and Simon is screaming about how much he wants Santa to go away. And he just keeps pulling my pant leg. He won't let go and just keeps pulling and pulling, just like I'm pulling your leg right now." And you sit down immediately and look at the next person who's supposed to go like nothing happened.