Thanks for the jokes and suggestions, everybody. I had myself some good chuckles. For the retreat, I decided to stick with the Harper's list of malapropisms, because I wasn't confident in my ability to tell a joke. It turned out that many women at the retreat shared my insecurity. At least half of the thirty attendees echoed some variation of "Well, I just have this list of botched church bulletin announcements because I'm not very good at telling jokes." (Seriously, I love the church bulletin humor. These can make me laugh until I hurt. Is it just me?)
There was one woman, though, who had no trouble telling a joke. Her name is Gwen, and I would guess her at 70. She told us that, for more than twenty years, at 9 am every Saturday morning, she and her mother would exchange jokes over the phone. She had a huge notebook full of them! I absolutely love that a mother and daughter would do that. Love it.
I had a great retreat weekend. Laughed until my face was aching, karaokied to "We Built This City," and "Bust a Move," and kayaked on Lake Springfield.
I'm really glad I went. It's amazing to be surrounded by women of all ages who are all so wonderful, so witty and vibrant. Despite my ambivalence about God, the opportunity to meet such a group of women is reason enough to continue going to church. That's what I learned this weekend. Also, I learned that my boys' childhood will be incomplete if we don't buy a couple of kayaks. They are so fun!